Author: Kieryn Darkwater

I can feel the wheels of my subconscious working instensly. Sleep is fraught with anxiety, past selves, and doubts. There’s something bothering me on a level I can’t acknowledge or communicate.  I feel like a failure as I wait, unknowing but feeling intensity.  I try to distract, but everything feels pointless. There is stress and…

I don’t have to be productive 24/7. All that matters is that I take care of myself – everything else will follow. I matter. Because my body is remembering it has a uterus for the first time in almost 6 months and even though it’s still worlds better than it was untreated, it still…..fucks me…

1) get dressed in day clothes that make you feel good, even if it’s just for a little while. 2) work out for 5 minutes to get your blood moving and to notice your body and feel it. 3) brush your hair if you don’t like how it feels or looks. put the dragonfly clips…

halpiphany: half of an epiphany / thing I realized before but really really realized recently: My life choice doesn’t invalidate your different life choice (or vice versa). They are both equally valid and equally right for us, because they key is it being our individual choice. That is all.

Intentionally went to my first Pride last-ish weekend, and it was really fun. I’d been to Portland (Maine) Pride once on accident – we were getting food and then a wild parade appeared – but Seattle, Seattle really knows how to do Pride. It’s massive. Next year I hope there’s more than one Bi Pride…

Sometimes I learn slower than I’d like. I get frustrated because PHP isn’t intuitive and I can watch a segment and then I have to take a break and let what I learned sit there for a couple days before going back for more. On the upside, I am actually grasping it this time, but…

We went to Snoqualmie Falls and hiked the trail and sat in the mist and now our calves hate us, but it was lovely.

I went to the library and found all the best fairy books in the kids section. I came home with one called the Faerie Door and I’m almost done with it. My favorite thing about libraries is that you can just sit there and read and no one bothers you and then you can bring…

Experiment: if I close twitter and log out of Facebook for a week (supplementing social internet needs with forum posts and reading blogs if I need to feel connected) what happens? Does the world seem less shitty? Do I break out of various funks long enough to work on projects? Am I happier? I’ll let…

What does it mean to belong? I’m a part of many groups but always try not to feel attached, in case something goes wrong and they don’t want me anymore (thanks, parents). Being actively involved in belonging scares me because it feels like a huge commitment I don’t know if I want to make.  Which…